when two lonely people gets together it just doubles the loneliness

Back to blogging, hahas its been awhile last week had a pretty good workout routine but this week was kinda off course, life has TOO many distractions!! working hard to get the excuses to f off from my brain.

Working out getting a good body has always been a goal of mine, but somehow maybe I am too engrossed or too into it, I have this feeling that maybe the goal I am looking at is not what i really want. Do you have this feeling yourself?YES you, do you? The feeling like your on your road to reaching that goal but halfway you go like 'do i really  want this?'Its not that I am giving up halfway, but somehow i feel i have a higher priority than just getting some rip-ass body. I am definitely going to continue trying to get in shape, but right now really, more awaits me to do.

To be the perfect man, maybe I have forgotten about improving my inner-self rather then my physical body. Which male does not want to be the perfect man, inside out? Perhaps in reality, perfect as good as 'why bother saying it'. But there is no harm striving for it as well, i mean failing and striving and succeeding is all part of life right.
wellll...,list of shit I need to work on
1: Be less judging accept people for who they are.
2: Learn to be more truthful all the more with yourself.
3: Be more independent and let others depend on you more.
4: Be more mature at times.
5: Be more discipline, stop being such a flirt in relationships..grow some roots boy.
(keep telling myself don't lonely then go desperate, 'when two lonely person gets together it just doubles the loneliness', have to learn xin dong and gan dong means different things.)

I remember meeting up with my god ma that time, a person i respect and love. She told me there are two type of person one that thinks just for the moment and one that thinks too much in advance. She says how I am living is stuck in the middle of these two types, kinda like a half-half? I kinda agree with her, sometimes because maybe i lack discipline, I become sort of selfish and just live for the moment but at times fuck, I JUST think like how I am gonna be dependable for my close-kins and family and friends.

At the end of the day, I just keep telling myself everyday have faith and not fear, take steps one step at the time, do not always try to view the whole staircase, and if i do, be prepared to see failure in front. God knows where the hell I am heading too, hopefully one day when i reach my goal, I can look back on these bruises and smile at them, remembering how they molded me. But till then i promise to remind myself of importance of inner self and everyday i will fight to be a better man. good night:)